Time

A little background info: My first job was with my dad at age 15. My second job was at the age of 16 at my dance studio. During college I added a third job on campus. With 3 jobs and school full-time, me and Brian did most of our dating between 10 and midnight. The hours between 4pm and 9pm were non-existent, never watched prime-time tv, didn't get to sleep in on Saturdays, and if I had a dollar for every time I had to say "Sorry, can't make it because I have to work" I would be filthy rich. Florida was the first time I only had to work. I am telling you this because I have always been told what to do with my time and where I would be. I remember calling in to work when we got Lucky, I seriously could not even buy a stinking duck without missing work. So really, time was a precious thing NOT to be wasted.

Fast forward to 2009. Go to ASBC with Brian and move to OK. Out of work for a total of 3 1/2 months. That may not sound like much but it felt like an eternity. ASBC was like a 6 week vacation, my life revolved around Jon and Kate Plus Eight and surfing the internet for addicting little games like Bejeweled. (secret internet game junkie) I forced myself to sleep in past 9 every day, maybe got out of my pajamas after lunch, was a total bum. I loved every minute of it!! Of course some days I felt like I had wasted my day just like the one before but hey, there are worse problems to have...

I love substituting. I mean seriously, I'm done by 3. That's early afternoon in my book. Plenty of time to sit on the couch and get a good 2 hours of sewing in before I even think about dinner! Needless to say I have been soaking up this glorious feeling of freedom. Until...
"It's still not your time. It's Mine." Are you kidding me? I wake up to this? God burst my beautifully colored hot-air balloon I was flying away in and drops me to earth with a heart-wrenching THUD. And I realize He's right. I have been doing the most selfish and useless things with this gift of time and when I look back I realize I am completely stagnant. "Where ever you go, there you are."

So it's been a challenge for me to wake up in the morning (a challenge in itself) and give up my day to His purpose. But it has completely changed my perspective, I feel like just that quick acknowledgment turns my focus for the whole day. Whenever I have any kind of situation with a choice of some consequence, I immediately throw up a quick "help me through this." Trust me- that happens a lot when your stuck in a room of 30 teenagers :) It's a difficult thing for me to give it up when I barely got a taste for it, but I know He will make that time I give Him one thousand times more productive than I could even think about.

"Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord..." Hosea 10:12

Easier said than done.