Am I 23 or 75?

Sometimes I wonder, I mean if I made a personal ad this is what it would sound like:

Looking for companion to watch tv and take afternoon naps with. Love to watch jeopardy and game shows, and old musicals with Fred and Ginger and Gene Kelley. Love to cross stitch and put together Christmas Stockings.

Seriously these have been my life. I am totally addicted and walk around half the time with a needle in my mouth because Brian probably made me get up off the couch like I had something better to do. I found this stocking that looked like Ranger and had to have it so I spent 50 bucks on ebay (first time). Cook dinner? Order a pizza! Take Ranger for a walk? Gee I have a headache...I'm seriously considering making this my profession, anybody need a stocking, advent calender, matching tree skirt, or ornaments? Seriously? Oh and don't worry - I'm working on finding one I can put a duck on for Lucky.






We were at Hallmark for a birthday card and guess what - Precious Moments does Disney! I mean seriously isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen? So here's the scary part, I got the snowglobe. It plays "Part of Your World." I was tearing up in the store. For those of you who don't know, I was Ariel when I was younger. My mom would take me and introduce me in public and I would say my name was Ariel. My dad was Eric and my mom of course got stuck with Ursala.


Well here's the other scary part, my Granny has the entire collection in her house. She has a floor to ceiling lighted display case and alternates putting 3 on every window sill in the house. Its one of the reasons I love her house. Is this the beginning of the end? Brian run!

We went to Blockbuster to rent a movie and ended up with an old Bob Hope movie. Out of the whole store I pick a movie from 1944. Why wasn't I born 75 years ago? It would have made so much more sense!

WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?!?!?!

Not suitable for any under the age of 21, or in some cases like mine, any sensitive, innocent, sheltered people.

I had my first substitute experience on Monday, which happens to be national smoke dope day. Oh joy. I pretty much sat back and listened. All day. Here are the topics of conversation that I heard form high school students;

1. Obviously, smoking pot
2. Sex over the weekend
3. Cheap porn
4. Brands of cigarettes
5. Steroids, frequency of taking them and who sells them
6. Tattoos, kinds and places, one suggested by a MOTHER
7. Recruiting trips for football and how they make you too tired to do you work
8. Blood and Crip gang signs

Lets not forget Jr high today, much shorter but still just as frightening;

1. Sexting
2. Condoms
3. Erections

Seriously? I felt like I was in an R rated movie with kids half my age! These kids are in way over their heads. Not only were they disrespectful, they had no idea they were being disrespectful. I told a kid to go sit down in his chair and he looked at me in the face and walked away. (I would have beaten him to high heaven but the sue you for that) Maybe God is really calling me to be a school counselor. I want to straighten these kids out, help them, guide them, reverse everything society has done to them. I can't give these kids a loving mom and dad but I can listen to their problems. Its a start.

It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown, and Brian's Birthday

Brian is now 24. After having to stand up in a loud Mexican restaurant with half my family laughing and the wait staff singing Happy Birthday in English and Spanish. I am disappointed there was no sombrero or maracas. After his mom decided to have a duck themed birthday this year. Wait didn't we get Lucky two years ago? But it was her idea so I went with it. She got her twenty-four year old son and cake with a rubber ducky on it. She got her twenty-four year old son a beanie-baby easter duck. Needless to say Brian made me promise not to let her do that again, but while there he was such a good sport. Brian I am not doing this to embarrass you, it was just too funny not to.

Here's how we made that little duckie useful...Merrisa don't tell your mother.





Brian, happy birthday. Don't worry about growing old, I'll be right behind you.

Neighborhood Walk

We took little ranger on a walk last night and there were two little girls down the street yelling half was across the neighborhood "CAN WE PET YOUR DOG?" Of course you can so here we go across the street. The older one (like 6 or 7) is holding two jars, and as we get closer they start doing that thing that children do, they just start rambling about how dogs can sleep outside or in cages (?) and how they have two grasshoppers and one of them is a red baby, etc. We started doing that thing that grown-ups do, nod and say oh wow, thats right, thats pretty cool. So they pet Ranger and then I look at the jars. One indeed is a little green grasshopper, however, the red one that's a baby turns out to not be a baby grasshopper but this guy...




Right. Keep the lid on little girl while I slowly back away for my life. I inform her that it is a wasp and she should keep the lid on and give it to her parents. She casually blows it off and says as we walk away, "No wonder he never hopped."

Dear Lord, please let me have funny funny kids that don't catch bugs.

The Y Chromosome

So the other night I ask Brian if he knew that the toilet paper is supposed to go on the toilet paper holder, and if so, did he know how to put it on there. His reply was yessss...I oh so ever sweetly replied good, work on it. His reply - But I'm still working on putting the seat down! I role my eyes and exclaim It's been a year and a half! and get ready to let him hear how hard I think it is to put the seat down, refill toilet paper, put his shaving cream back in the drawer, put his glass in the dish washer, etc. He pulls out the ultimate weapon, the one he's not supposed to use because it leaves me defenseless and whatever fight we were in or whatever fight I was planning on starting is lost. The half-smile, crooked grin, don't be mad at me face. I could do nothing. He knows this.
The seat was left up this morning.

Here is Brian with his pride and joy, actually a wedding present we were just able to use it last week. I LOVE it because he has been trying to find excuses to fire up the grill. First night we had some amazing steaks- thanks sweetie! Next night, hot dogs. Oh being married and poor and happy...